I am tired of this

they gave me a machete
and ordered me to cut
fingers and toes
of relatives and neighbours
opposing their agenda
promising to reward me.
today I cut two women
and ten children
they rewarded me with
mbanje and beer

they gave me a gun
and ordered me to shoot
at heads and chests
of relatives and neighbours
whose ideas fight theirs
promising to reward me.
today I shoot at twenty villagers
my reward remains
mbanje and beer.
Does this worth it?